Motivation - Six Reasons Why You're Probably Unable to Choose your Dream

Different people are moved to do different things for different reasons and are motivated by different needs. They also are moved to do nothing at all for different reasons and are demotivated by different needs as well to do nothing.  

The Benefit of Checking out for Reasons Why

If you find that you're having trouble choosing an ambition or recognizing a calling, then think why this is happening in you.  It could save you some unnecessary heartbreak in doing this exercise of checking out for reasons. 

Six Points to Ponder

• It could be that someone else chose a goal for you that you haven't accepted. 
• It could be that you're not interested in doing anything with your life right now.  
• It could be that you simply are protesting having been born and regard being on earth is an existence and not a life.  
• It could be that you've been raised to fear life and have accumulated a large deficit of negative experiences that you're now reluctant to do anything.  
• In some ways related to reason number 1 that I stated above, the reason why your life is going nowhere forward is that you refuse to live up to responsibilities that others choose for you and that if you're going to take on any responsibility at all, it had better be something that you chose for yourself because you're demanding a certain reward. 
• You refuse to do thankless work or accept anything that will not compensate you enough to warrant doing some work. 

This article describes and tries to explain why so many of us who have aptitudes enough to live productive lives are not taking their lives anywhere.

Drilling Down Deeper

It could be that someone else chose a goal for you that you haven't accepted.  Many parents have the tendency to live vicariously through their children and too often they choose their children's careers before these are born.  

And too often those children, when they grow to adulthood, fail to live up their parents' vicarious ambitions for them and that happened because their hearts just weren't in it.  

Philosopher Khalil Gibran wrote to parents and said, "Your children are not your children. They are the children of life." They were born through you but are not your possessions and you are not their owners.  If you cannot stand to realize this, then don't have children. It's that simple.

It could be that you're not interested in doing anything with your life right now.  There are not that many people who know their calling from an early age. Some people will take up whatever they can as a way to make a living in order to have a living and pay for their needs and wants.  

Some will seek instructions from God and ask for His plan for their lives.  I applaud that. However, it doesn't happen with everybody. Others will choose careers that follow from the values they've chosen to embrace or lack of values that they should have embraced but didn't.

It could be that you simply are protesting having been born and regard being on earth is an existence and not a life.  I remember reading in history books about two major wars based on Napoleon's invasion of Russia and Hitler's invasion of Russia. 

The reason I mention those two seemingly unrelated concepts is that whenever a foreign enemy would invade Russia, all the crops, lands, and other resources would be destroyed by fire before the enemy invaders would seize them for their own use. 

This tactic or strategy was termed "Scorched Earth." It proved effective during both military conflicts. The military invaders' soldiers would be starved, fall too ill and weak to continue fighting, and in the end, the Russians would drive them from Russia. 

It could be that you're so unhappy with your life, that you're scorching your life before it can benefit those whom you believe make you unhappy so as to deprive them of being able to exploit you for their ends.

It could be that you've been raised to fear life and have accumulated a large deficit of negative experiences that you're now reluctant to do anything. 

It happens that many people are so frustrated and so disappointed with negative experiences that they're totally discouraged from even trying to do something more with their lives. 

This happens a lot with people who were brought up by overprotective parents or guardians who out of love or fear simply stunted them.  Such parents have no business raising chilren!

The reason could be that you refuse to live up to responsibilities that others choose for you and that if you're going to take on any responsibility at all, it had better be something that you chose for yourself because you're demanding a certain reward. 

The thinking behind this is that you're not going to permit or authorize anyone else to live your life for you. If you're going to take on any responsibility, it's going to have to be on your terms or you had better have some say in the matter.

You refuse to do thankless work or accept anything that will not compensate you enough to warrant doing some work.  Who want to work for peanuts?  That's what school is for.  That's why it was illegal to teach slaves to read and write.

 I remember an episode of Roots in which the late actor Robert Reed portrayed the role of a slave owner who was explaining to the character being portrayed by Linda Day George that it was wise to deprive slaves of the ability to read and write because they would realize how unhappy their lives were if they learned how to think.

In Conclusion

By now, you can probably conclude that one of these reasons apply in your case if you find yourself demotivated or unable to rise up to choose an ambition or set a goal.

Everything from having others live vicariously through you to lacking interest, to being resentful of having to serve in a life you never wanted, to being fearful out of discouragement, to insist on having a say on what responsibility you're willing to shoulder, to demanding adequate compensation for your labor have been touched on as possible causes of not being able to choose a goal or ambition. 

I'm sure that there's a whole lot more out there to consider as likely demotivators but other writings will have to be produced to treat them.  

Despite the insufficiency of space and time to exhaust this topic in the span of a single article, the description and explanation offered here should get you thinking if you're having too much difficulty in choosing your ambitions in life.